Mind Clutter

Hello to everyone who reads this. These are some crazy times we live in. Sometimes it’s hard to find your way in murky waters. I know in previous posts I’ve shared with you how little myself and others know (believe me I know jack shit). I feel that right now, at this point in human history, this couldn’t be more relevant. With this post, I plan on going into depth a little bit more on the subject of ‘knowing jack shit’ and ‘keeping things in perspective’ and how that has helped me grow emotionally and to let go of unnecessary baggage.

My whole life, I’ve been burdened mentally with this idea, thought-form, or whatever you want to call it that goes by the well-known name ‘God.’ This can be a touchy subject for most, but for me, I’ve found that it is all in my head. To me, whether God exists or not is entirely irrelevant to being a good or bad person. Life isn’t always fair. Life isn’t always blessings and happiness. But as you grow and learn, hopefully, from your countless mistakes, you find tools, some useful. Some, not so much. You also find that the tools one person uses aren’t necessarily the ones you would use. I speak in generalities here because a ‘tool’ can be many different things and take on countless physical iterations and thought-forms. Someone might use a 9/16ths wrench to undo the bolts on some part of your automobile the same way another person recites a prayer or mantra over and over to help get them through a tough emotional experience. Whatever this tool might be, you eventually find the one that works for you. Some tools are universal, some… Not. So. Much.

In my mind, and from my own perspective, God is a tool that does not work for me. Trying to figure out what his or her’s plan is for me, it’s like trying to swat at a fly, but the fly isn’t there, and the whole thing is taking place in the ‘Imagination Land’ (See South Park Season 11, Episodes 10, 11, 12) of my mind. It’s mind clutter, and it gets in the way of me trying to solve my real-world problems. For me, it is an unnecessary distraction. You see, for me, art and writing are cheap forms of therapy. They help me define the lines between what’s real and what is imaginary. Without these outlets, I’d probably be a very different, much darker person. When I think, contemplate or pray to ‘God’, the lines between reality and fantasy get blurred. But that’s just how my psychology reacts to this idea. I find myself finding and/or creating problems where none exist. It creates unnecessary emotional baggage and mental nonsense that only makes me irrationally angry and emotionally imbalanced. So it is because of these things that I must reject the idea of God, so I don’t live the rest of my life angry and vengeful. I reject it so I can be at peace and so I can feel happy.

Think about it this way. If God created you, then he created you with a purpose (you hope), and in doing so, he gave you a particular nature that you must discover, explore and share with the world. Because it is this ‘Unique Nature’ that you possess that God wants to use for his great grand plan. So you must stay true to right up till the day you die or you are not fulfilling God’s plan. But if there is no God and you are just a pudgy meat sack of cells that crawled out of the mud millions of years in Earth’s history. Then those cells have DNA in them that defines who you are at the core of your very being. And that is your duty to propagate the species further. You have within you a certain nature, based on your DNA, you must adhere to, to advance your DNA and that of your species further. Either way, you look at it; you have a distinct something inside of you that keeps pushing you forward. So what does it matter whether God exists or not? Why concern yourself with it?

I guess what I’m getting at is this, God or not, you must be true to your own nature. For me, trying to communicate with this God has, in the past, only filled me with anxiety, fear, and anger. It’s never really done me any good. And not once have I received help from a supernatural being of any kind. Nor have I seen any Demons. I know some people find comfort in a God. They find peace in prayer. And they endeavor to do good things. I guess all I am saying is why do you need God and prayer to feel some peace, to feel comfort or to do good. You see from my perspective, what I’ve seen are people doing good things and people doing bad things. And all them trying desperately to justify their actions with complex mental gymnastics that often involve God, demons and angels and all other manners of Imagination Land stuff.  I just feel you really don’t need a God to know right from wrong. People just use it as an excuse instead of taking responsibility for their own actions, good or bad, they pawn it off on a God or a Devil. If you accomplish something great. Take credit for it. Give yourself some props. If you do something self-destructive or inflict harm on someone else, take responsibility for your actions. Don’t blame it on Imagination Land. Own it. Because, deep down inside, whether God exists or not, don’t you want to do the right thing?

But, then again, what do I know? I guess my point is God or not everyone has their own perspective, their own view on life, nature and why we’re here and that’s okay. Because no one knows jack shit so we’re all in this big giant clown show together.

“I do my thing and you do your thing.

I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,

And you are not in this world to live up to mine.

You are you, and I am I,

and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.

If not, it can’t be helped.”

– Friedrich Salomon Perls –

Happy Trails
– JP